Saturday 24 August 2013

Winners Never Quit... Quitters Never Win!

My life is so far from going to plan right now... I had 2 days of calling around French people for some accommodation only to be told I need a French Guarantor, by the time I actually organised it and paid for the pleasure, I found out that Student Finance England (being the stellar organisation that they are) have messed up my loan for the THIRD year running. So I give them my greatest congratulations because it is looking like I won't be going on my year abroad thanks to them.

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I cannot afford my rent once I'm in France, I couldn't pay any bills and I certainly won't be able to afford to eat! So I think the Plan B will have to be to intermit until next year. It's not exactly something I want to do, but perhaps spending the next year working, I will be in a better place emotionally and financially in order to complete my final two years at university. I cannot even begin to describe just how utterly devastated I am, the disappointment is surreal... It is however, very typical of my luck and is just another hurdle I will have to climb.

So in light of how stressful this week has been, to the point where my hair has even started to fall out, I have decided to keep going. Whilst I may have to postpone my Year Abroad, I refuse to be defeated. I will work and save up money, train hard, improve my running and get straight back at it again when university starts up!

When I look back at my life it has never been easy; my childhood was a confusing babble of arguments and older siblings going off the rails a bit for various reasons... My mum had several medical problems such as a bleed on the brain and a suspected clot in her lungs. As a result if these issues she was taken into hospital (on separate occasions) and because my dad had to work, it came to me to pick up the slack. I am always happy to do this because it's my family and those are the things you do for family but it did also mean that I had to grow up quite quickly.

When I was 17 I had an operation to rectify my own medical issues which only added to the stress I was under at the time, having just started 6th Form. After a long hard slog it was finally results day and I found out that I had not got into university.... Execute Plan B: I did an extra year at 6th Form and finally, got into university.

By this point I had been diagnosed with depression and began having problems with Student Finance but fortunately, these were quickly seen to. Unfortunately I had put on 2 stone in weight in this time and getting it off was so hard. During my 2nd year of uni, I had many problems with my flatmate and was again diagnosed with depression and given counselling. Here it was established that my mental age is around 27 years old... 6 years older than my chronological age.  I don't believe this makes me better or worse a person than anyone else.

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I have had many problems and the ones I am facing now are just the latest, somehow I doubt they will be the last. But if I ever want to get anywhere in life then I must not quit, because like title of this post says:
WINNERS NEVER QUIT AND QUITTERS NEVER WIN!!

3 comments:

  1. There's a California gold rush story that tells of two brothers who sold all they had and went prospecting for gold. They discovered a vein of the shining ore, staked a claim, and proceeded to get down to the serious business of getting the gold ore of the mine.

    All went well at first, but then a strange thing happened. The vein of gold disappeared! They had come to the end of the rainbow, and the pot of gold was no longer there. The brothers continued to pick away, but without success. Finally, they gave up in disgust.

    They sold their equipment and claim rights for a few hundred dollars, and took the train back home. Now the man who bought the claim hired an engineer to examine the rock strata of the mine. The engineer advised him to continue digging in the same spot where the former owners had left off. And three feet deeper, the new owner struck gold.A little more persistence and the two brothers would have been millionaires themselves.

    There is gold in you, too. Keep on digging and when you write your journey of success down for your future children, you will enjoy the pain and problems you have been through because you will know you have earned your success. I just wanted you to know that when Im feeling a bit down cos this has gone wrong or that has not worked, I think of my niece (in lawish) and think of how much I admire your attitude, zest for living and ability to fight through the flames and I start again with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. You are one of my heroines Catherine so keep going I know its going to be ok. :) Love from Rob and Aunty Amanda tooxxx

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  2. This actually made me go all teary!! It means so much to me that tou believe in me and all those thinga about me, but you should also know that you are equally as inspiring!! ♥ love you xx

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  3. :D xx we love you too :)

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