Death of the Safe Deposit Box

When I was a kid I used to play at being a princess and being rich. I'd have jewels and wads of money and tiaras galore; precious things I would stash away at the bottom of my dress up box, next to the stethoscope and ballet shoes. As I got into my teens, I got a job and my money was stashed away in this handy thing called a bank account. The older I get the more I worry about where to keep my valuables, from important documents to family heirlooms (of which I actually own none.. yet) and that's when I remembered: the big banks offer these little boxes for rent that are just like mini vaults!! Not that I need one but I got to looking at which banks offer the best deal on the wonder known as a safe deposit box, only to find that actually, no one really offers this service any more.

WHERE THE HELL AM I MEANT TO STASH MY TIARAS????